Monday, 28 October 2019

A little bit broken

There was a TV programme in the 1980s called "A very peculiar practice" There was an old Doctor in there and he would frequently say - "Time for Jock to have a wee breakdown" well this weekend it was "Time for Budsmam to have a wee breakdown"
Its ok, sometimes saying it out loud is the first step to getting better. And i do feel better but still a bit paper thin as it were.
Things just get too much, personal life, work, oh my goodness work .... then otherr "stuff gets in the mix and before you know it full on melt down.
Well there you go. But once you hit rock bottom and on saturday i did hit complete and utter rock bottom, well there is only one way and that is up.
Im not kidding myself, i know reading a few self help manuals will only help paper over the cracks. But i have asked for help. I ahve asked friends (thank you all) I have asked work and they are helping. And my Scoobs, well he knows what has to be done.
I have uninstalled all social media from my phone, not gone as far as deleting accounts (but you facebook, you are on a very shoogly nail !) Instagram was the worst to do, but that was because i was using it in an obsessive manner, using it to distract from the real issues and it stopped me from tackling what was (is) going on.
So I do feel a bit bereft but i know that when i feel better i can go back onto instagram (facebook you might be kicked into touch i dont know ....)
So I think coming on there more and doing more on here is best for now. It take time and effort to fire up laptop and this feels more contemplative and less manic.
Scoobs has been good, we spent sunday on Inchmaholme priory, its on a lake near Aberfoyle. What a lovely beautiful place, you get there by a small motor boat. It was exactly what i needed.

Lord and Lady somebody, but look, even though they died 6 years apart their tomb has them facing each other holding hands, how lovely.


  1. I am here if you need me. At any time xx

    1. Bless you and I appreciate it more than you will ever know. My felty Teddy is on my desk reminding me of beautiful friends xxx